The age thing...would I do things differently

 Master is 11 years older than I am, no big deal, I'm 4o and he is 51, it's not been a problem for us, well, yes there has been issues about it but brought about by others having issues with it, but the ages we are now the age gap is irrelevant.  I'm of the mind that does age actually hold any relevance when it comes to being with someone in a relationship, you could be the same age but that does not guarantee the relationship will fair better than people who have large age gaps, perhaps it's the romantic in me but does love, happiness, friendship etc come with an appropriate age range? my opinion no it doesn't, I respect that there will be people that feel differently, well, I know there are from my own personal experiences.

It's been when people find out through conversation that I was 18 when I started dating him, so he was 29, that raised eyebrows, not now, but when the children were small and I mixed more with other parents I noticed the looks, heck my own parents and sibling were against us from the start, so you can imagine their horror when at 19 I married him.

It was a recent phone call with my sister that had me reflecting about this, our twins (boy and girl) birthday's are on Friday they will be turning 19, my sister commented how cat (daughter) would be the same age I was when I married, although I was 3 weeks shy of my 20th birthday but yeah 19, and would I want the same for her.

I immediately said no, goodness no, and after the call, I felt awful, because it made me question if it was ok for me and I have had and hope to continue to have a happy life why would I be so against my daughter or indeed her 3 brothers potentially having the same, unlikely atm because she has no interest in boys at all, I think she is struggling with her sexuality, but thats another matter.

We started our family early, by age 24 I had 4 children, and I loved and still do love being a wife and mother, and we was happy, although by no means was we The Waltons and there has been difficult times, a few difficult enough that we wasn't sure we would get through it, at the worst I did leave him, albeit for just under a week but it took a lot longer than that to repair the damage and hurt.

I'm hesitant to say that I missed out on aspects of life that I might have had if I had not married young because how can you miss something you have never had?  But would I do things differently? I can't answer that because quite simply we did things the way we did and are still together and another path could have led very differently, we shall never know, no point really dwelling on what might of been.

We were doing ttwd from the start of our marriage, although my first spanking was before that, Master discussed with me the sort of relationship he was after, although I don't think either of us, well I know I didn't predict it would go to where it is now, and yeah I was caught up in the romance of it all, the excitement, the thrill, the sex, (sub frenzy as they say) without really focusing on the whole being obedient and submissive (although i was submissive in personality I learned that that does not necessarily correlate with the act of submitting) aspect but I think that is not directly associated with youth but rather one could be of any age and experience sub frenzy.












Comments

  1. Bleue D'âme30 March 2021 at 00:53

    Hello Claire-- i think people judge, no matter what your family looks like. Too young. Too old...oh? you don't have a family? It's so easy to wonder what might have been.

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    1. claire30 March 2021 at 17:51

      afternoon Bleue

      Yes how very true, so perhaps it is best to not dwell on it, one can only do what they feel is right for them.

      Delete
  2. morningstar30 March 2021 at 01:51

    I am struggling with age difference - but I am the older one - by 17 years! People mistake me for the lil one's grandmother (hell I could be her grandmother - my own grandkids are older than her!) BUT the worst is when people ask if Sir Steve is my son :( :( Sir Steve finds it funny - I do NOT! Age is a sensitive subject for me - to say the least. All I know is that what I have with Sir Steve is good - very good! And I have more days not thinking about the age difference than I have days worrying about it.

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    1. claire30 March 2021 at 17:59

      From the small amount of posts of yours I have read you come across as being confident, happy and content with life, it's easy for me to sit here and say you shouldn't struggle I'm not in your shoes, but as to people making comments of Sir Steve being your son I would be inclined to laugh along with him because it's clear he doesn't care what they think, it's really only what he thinks about you that matters.

      Delete
  3. PK30 March 2021 at 02:24

    I get this from the parent end. My son was 16 when he started dating a man who was 26. Scared me to death. I said they couldn't date until I talked to this man and laid down the law. Let's jump ahead 17 years, these two have been together the whole time, married now for 7 years. The evidence show it was right for them. Just as the age you married was right for you. But not everyone would be ready and able to handle all that marriage involves at 19 so I can understand you being more comfortable with your daughter being older when she takes the step.

    Everyone is different. Your spanking relationship began when you were a teen. I didn't have the courage to come out to my husband until I was 49 years old! I really hope my daughter, whenever she marries, won't wait so long to tell her husband what she really needs.

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    1. claire30 March 2021 at 18:02

      Yes, you have pretty much hit the nail on the head, I think as a parent you think differently because your coming at the situation from a different perspective, if my daughter was dating a man much older I would have my concerns like you with your son, but how lovely to hear they are still going strong.

      Ultimately I want what I think most parents want and that is that their child is happy, it might be that it's not a path that we may want for them but its not our journey to take.

      Delete
  4. Windy30 March 2021 at 05:53

    Claire,
    I have an adult daughter who is dating a guy much older than her and for the most part we don't really think it's an issue. If he makes her happy and treats her well, that's what matters to us most.

    What really caught my interest here tonight was this: (although i was submissive in personality I learned that that does not necessarily correlate with the act of submitting) I'm interested in your analysis of this statement if you have one and are willing to share. Hugs, Windy

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    1. claire30 March 2021 at 18:07

      hi Windy,

      Yes I agree, ultimately I want for my children to be happy, and only they can choose how that may be.

      Ok, I started with explaining what I mean't and it got really long so I'm going to make it a post, which I shall crack on with this evening, because I would also be interested in hearing others thoughts about it.

      Delete
    2. Windy30 March 2021 at 19:49

      I didn't mean to make it sound like we don't have any concerns at all because of course we do and I have carefully shared that with her (careful not to over-influence her or make her feel inadequate in her decision making, but overall, she's gotta decide and we will love her through it.

      I was actually hoping you'd say that about your quote so we could read a whole post about it. Yay! LOL Looking forward to your thoughts and the conversations to be had here. Hugs, Windy

      Delete
  5. willie30 March 2021 at 11:33

    Sorry I'm late. I'm actually envious in some ways of people who find love and start a family young. It could potentially make you ( at least lol) a young grandparent.

    I wouldn't best yourself up too much about how you view your daughter's life vs your own. I remember after having our first son, my step father coming to our apartment and saying to my Mom this won't do ( it was a nice place he just felt we needed more room). I laughed and reminded her that he talks if living over a bar and boiling cloth diapers in a pot on the stove with his first. We just want our kids to not struggle but that doesn't mean we would change our past struggles.

    And perhaps you see her as a different personality to yours at that age so it stand to reason you would say no to her following your path because it would be like comparing apples to oranges.

    I appreciate your honesty with the struggles you had in your past and the fact you felt you needed to leave, if 'only' for a week. It takes a brave person to admit that and a brave person to leave/come back and work on things even more.

    Thanks again for sharing.

    willie

    Ps I have my own take/understanding of Windy's question but I too would be interested in knowing yours

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    1. claire30 March 2021 at 18:18

      OOh I really can't wait to have grandchildren, whenever that maybe, it's a cliche but they grow up so fast that it just doesn't seem like they were all toddlers that long ago, time goes by too quickly.

      Your comment about your stepdads reaction to your apartment made me chuckle, my mums reaction to seeing our first home, which was a flat above a butchers was that there was no garden, was how was I going to do laundry! when they didn't even have a washing machine when they were first married!

      Yes my daughter is very different to me, more like her dad than any of the others, so yes I think her path will most likely go in a very different way, she is very career orientated and has a plan of where she wants to go, of course life does not always go to plan!

      I'm going to do a post in response to Windy's question, 1, because my reply to her which I started and then deleted because it was getting really long and 2 because I would be interested in hearing the thoughts of others.

      thanks willie

      Delete
  6. willie30 March 2021 at 11:33

    Sorry auto correct likes to mess with me...beat yourself up not best yourself .

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  7. Fondles1 April 2021 at 08:26

    So interesting to learn about how you started out your lives together. I really don't think age plays too significant a role in a relationship provided both parties are on the same page, as it were.

    Lovely to read about your history!

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    1. claire1 April 2021 at 16:58

      Yes I agree, perhaps its just as simple as saying as long your happy then carry on, I think people are sometimes too quick to judge others without seeing the bigger picture, although also think it is human nature to judge and we all do in one degree or another perhaps even not realising we do.

      Delete

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